Marriage — Advice from the Sages of Judaism
Articles on marriage from various perspectives
“The only truth I know is you.” — Kathy’s Song, Paul Simon
Talmudic and Rabbinic Quotes
Talmud
Yevamot 62b: “Any man who has no wife lives without joy, without blessing, and without goodness.”
Kiddushin 29b: “A man should love his wife as much as he loves himself and respect her even more than he respects himself.”
Ketubot 62b: “It is a mitzvah for a husband to bring joy to his wife.”
Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers)
Pirkei Avot 5:21: “Rabbi Tarfon said: The day is short, the labour vast, the workers lazy, the reward great, and the Master of the house is insistent. In the context of marriage, this can be understood as a reminder of the diligence and effort required to nurture a successful relationship.”
Mishnah Torah (Rambam/Maimonides)
Hilchot Ishut 15:19–20: “A husband should honour his wife more than himself and love her as he loves himself. If he has means, he should increase her welfare according to his means. He should not cause her undue fear. His conversation with her should be gentle; he should be neither sad nor angry.”
Medieval Jewish Thinkers
Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki)
Commentary on Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Rashi explains that this means they should be as one in all aspects of life, highlighting the importance of unity and partnership in marriage.”
Rabbi Yehuda HaLevi (Kuzari)
Kuzari 2:80: “The love between a husband and wife is like the love between a person and their own body. Just as one nurtures their own body, so too should a husband and wife nurture each other.”
Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman (Ramban/Nachmanides)
Iggeret HaKodesh (The Holy Epistle): “The union of man and woman in marriage is a reflection of the divine union of the Shekhinah (divine presence) with Israel. Therefore, it is a sacred bond that requires mutual respect, love, and devotion.”
Early Modern Jewish Thinkers
Rabbi Yosef Karo (Shulchan Aruch)
Even HaEzer 69:6: “A man should always endeavour to honour his wife because blessings rest on a person’s house only because of his wife.”
Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler (Michtav M’Eliyahu)
“True love is built on giving rather than receiving. When spouses focus on what they can give to each other rather than what they can take, their marriage is strengthened and sanctified.”
Rabbi Israel Meir Kagan (Chafetz Chaim)
“A peaceful and harmonious home is a precious gift that requires effort and understanding. It is built on the foundations of mutual respect, kindness, and patience.”
Modern Jewish Thinkers
Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel
“Marriage is an opportunity for man and woman to grow spiritually, to create together a new life and to bring holiness into the world. It is a partnership of mutual respect and shared purpose.”
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks
“Marriage is more than a contract; it is a covenant. It is not just a private arrangement but a sacred bond that reflects the relationship between God and humanity. It requires faithfulness, trust, and the commitment to build a life together.”
Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik
“Marriage is the highest form of friendship. It is a partnership in which both individuals are devoted to each other’s spiritual and personal growth. It is the creation of a shared destiny.”
Additional Quotes from Various Sages
Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe (Alei Shur)
“The foundation of a successful marriage is the understanding that each partner has unique qualities and strengths. By appreciating and complementing each other, they can build a harmonious and fulfilling life together.”
Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson (The Lubavitcher Rebbe)
“The strength of the Jewish people lies in the home. A home filled with love, respect, and Torah values is the cornerstone of our faith and our future.”
These quotes from Jewish sages and prominent thinkers emphasise the sanctity of marriage, the importance of mutual respect, love, and devotion, and the marital relationship's spiritual and communal significance.
More …
